


Stop mewing

by Aragorn_II_Elessar



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: Calling Out, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Jokes, Not for Iris or WestAllen fans, Not for NTA fans, Not for OTA fans, schooling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:55:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28027374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aragorn_II_Elessar/pseuds/Aragorn_II_Elessar
Summary: Aragorn the author decides to school a kid called MEWTWO 2.0 for leaving stupid flames all over his stories.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	Stop mewing

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Deadpool or anything else you may recognize
> 
> Some people are just too desperate for my attention, and won't rest till they have it, like this person here. Well congrats kid, you have all of my attention now. Now don't whine if it is not the kind of attention you wanted.

"I'm gonna kill this dude!" Wade said, trying to pull out his gun but Aragorn grabbed his hand.

"Buddy, he is 8 years old!" Aragorn snapped. "Or at least that's what he says."

"Really?" Wade asked, relenting.

"Yeah, looks like it", Aragorn said.

"Well then, can't kill 'em", Wade said as he walked off. "But really, his parents should monitor watch their little spawn watches on the Internet."

"I know right?" Aragorn asked.

* * *

Later, Aragorn sat in front of the camera, wearing a Michael Myers mask as the Halloween soundtrack played in the background. Lifting his knife, Aragorn plunged it into the table in front of him, before taking off his mask, the music stopping as he put on his glasses.

"So how are you people?" Aragorn asked. "Now you must be wondering why I was dressed up as Michael Myers. It's just that my annual obsession with him and the Halloween series in general is back for a bit."

Stroking his hair, he said. "Anyway, we are here because a kid poked me a little too much, and then used his age of 8 as defense for himself."

Taking off his glasses, Aragorn said. "Well kid, time to school ya! You can be 8 or you can be 80, but if you pull bullshit like this on me, I will call you out on it."

Aragorn then pulled up the review of some MEWTWO 2.0 on 'You are terminated' and read out loud- ""Why would you feel happier when all heroes die?""

Rubbing his head, Aragorn muttered. "Heroes, eh? Let's see- Curtis Holt hacked John Diggle's chip he had in his arm. Using someone's disability against them is the lowest thing you can ever do, so he's no hero. Then Vince Sobel, the guy who dismissed innocent people he murdered as collateral damage. And we have Dinah Drake, who defended him in spite of this crap and got vengeance obsessed over him, and then she suddenly became anti-vigilante, even though she used to be one, what a hypocrite. Then we have Felicity Smoak, another hypocrite, who projected her black and white morality onto Oliver, and then she also joined a terrorist organization called Helix and let out a dangerous hacker while an agent got killed. Then John Diggle, who is pretty much the same as Felicity, and the idiot believes saving a madman is preferable to saving a city, seriously? Plus, he constantly berates and puts down his supposed brother to make himself feel better, and he has an unhealthy obsession with wanting Oliver and Felicity to be together. He's also a bad influence to his son, it's a wonder why Lyla stays with him. And finally Iris, an abusive nutjob who said to her husband's face that she doesn't care their daughter worked with the man who murdered his mom in spite of knowing what he did, and she also thinks that her feelings are more important that the fate of the entire city and possibly the whole world. You think these people are heroes? You don't know the meaning of the word."

Looking to the front, Aragorn said. "Oliver, Barry, Sara, the Laurels, Roy, Rene, Rory, Nyssa, Thea, Cisco, Caitlin and a redeemed Slade were all mentioned in the end as heroes in the new timeline. They are the real heroes, not the ones who got killed off."

Aragorn smoked a cigarette as a disclaimer appeared below stating- " _Cigarette smoking looks cool but isn't. Don't try it at home, or you will die like the shithead that is Aragorn II Elessar, the writer, not the character, is going to."_

Then Aragorn said. "And this isn't the only review this kid left. If it was, we wouldn't be here right now. I mean, after reading at least 2 stories of mine, it was obvious what kind of stuff I write, so scrolling down to read more and flame it is really stupid. If you don't like what I write, and want me to write according to your wishes, then how free can you be? Do something with your life, go study, but no! Everyone wants an admission in my shit list, including kids now."

Aragorn pulled up his review from 'The Late Night Show Starring Wade Wilson' and read it- ""You actually can't do that and I am pretty sure a lot of people would mess with you. Hurt people hurt people. I did not enjoy your stories.""

Blowing off some smoke, Aragorn said. "Guess what, kid? I just did. As for people messing with me, check my other roasts to see what came of them. I managed to get them off of me and regret the day they were born. And if you do not enjoy my stories, why the fuck are you reading them? I always steer clear of stuff I don't enjoy without leaving a comment, because it's pointless to do so. The author has their opinion, I have mine."

Then Aragorn pulled up his review from 'Ripping apart the fanatics', reading it- ""WE GET IT! YOU HATE IRIS AND LAUREL! Just please write something nicer about them or delete some really mean ones.""

Aragorn blew off the cigarette again and said. "Once more, you are way off. I don't hate Laurel, I hate her toxic fanatics. I have not even written anything mean about her, only her fanatics. And why should I write nice stuff about an abusive nutjob like Iris? She's a horrible person who should face consequences for her bullshit. And you have the nerve to tell me to delete my stories? I spent 15 minutes to half an hour of my life writing 'em, which is more time than you would have taken to type all of your flames on my works. Seriously, the level of entitlement in you is astounding. And here I thought I was an immature, entitled brat at your age."

Rubbing his head, Aragorn said. "But this isn't even the end of it, I think we're halfway through though."

Aragorn pulled up his review from 'Erasing Iris' this time and read it out loud- ""Okay this has got to stop. Why are you writing this? Plus, you aren't part of the show! By the way, why would the Venn Diagram God lend you some power temporarily? You aren't exactly a good example because writing mean stuff is kind of basically cyber bullying.""

Aragorn threw his cigarette down and put it out with his foot, some smoke still coming out of his mouth. "Of course you brainless twerp, I am writing this because I am not part of the show! If I was, then WestAllen wouldn't even be a thing currently. As for why the Venn Diagram God would lend me his power temporarily, he is my friend. Plus, it's not like all Gods are the Paragons of Virtue. See Greek Gods for why."

Aragorn then laughed hysterically at his last line, almost falling off of his chair. "Oh my God! I had no idea that real people could cyberbully FICTIONAL characters! This kid has made a new discovery. Someone give him the Nobel Prize for….stupidity? Wait, there isn't one? There should be, and he should get the first one! Or there should be an award on stupidity named after him. The MEWTWO 2.0 award for stupidity."

Then Aragorn looked up the definition of cyberbullying from Google. ""The use of electronic communication to bully a person, typically by sending messages of an intimidating or threatening nature.""

Doing a badass hair flip like Tobey Maguire, Aragorn said. "Now did I send any of the people who were called out in my stories intimidating or threatening messages? I don't think so. They did leave threatening reviews on my works as well as my friends' work though. What I did was show them what became of them because of it."

Then Aragorn pulled up his review from 'Deadpool punishes the Arrowverse showrunners' and read his review- ""Can you stop it with Deadpool getting into everything? Also, isn't this offensive to the writers?""

Aragorn sighed, rolling his eyes and said. "Dude, Deadpool is the one character who can get into everything, so no stopping him. Plus, the dude blew out the brains of his own actor, so this isn't any different from that."

This time Aragorn pulled up his review from 'Consequences for Iris West' and read it- ""Why do you hate Iris so much?""

Aragorn casually said. "Because she is an abusive nutjob who cares only about herself, treats Barry like trash, and gets away with it. The show has been ruined by many factors, but Iris is one of the biggest ones."

Then Aragorn pulled up his review from 'Barry's nightmare', reading that one- ""This is mean. Your hatred for Iris is overkill. Stop it.""

Aragorn chuckled and said. "If this is mean, imagine your reaction when I cuss you for existing and then cuss your parents for bringing you into this world. But I won't do that, don't worry."

Then he repeated- ""Your hatred for Iris is overkill.""

Rolling his eyes, Aragorn said. "The irony of saying this on my 2nd anti-Iris story ever. And what will you do if I don't stop? Pee all over fanfiction and mark it as your territory or something?"

Then an intense drum played in the background as Aragorn said. "And now- the biggest one that I saved for the last."

The drumming stopped as Aragorn pulled up his review from 'Deadpool hates propaganda' and read it out loud- ""I get it! You hate women and only like Caitlin. I just have one request: Make something horrible happen to all the male characters that you made the protagonist(good guys) and make something good happen to all the female characters you hate! Maybe the only reason you can't is you are too clouded by your hate of least liked characters. And YES! You are! And if you want to make something mean about me, just so you know, I am still a kid. So be mean all you want, but just so you know, you are being mean to an 8 year old!""

Aragorn rolled his eyes, and put his head in his hands, fake crying. "Oh my God! I was mean to an 8 year old kid. I am such a horrible person. Pfffft!"

Aragorn looked up and said. "I have been mean to 7 year olds as well, and face to face. You're no different from those 7 year olds. You poke and annoy older people as much as you want, and when they lose it you say- "Don't be mean to us. We're just kids!" Height of entitlement."

Then Aragorn scratched his head. "And what the fuck is an 8 year old even doing on this site? Kid, if you're actually 8 years old, which I doubt, then you shouldn't be reading T-rated stories, you know? Stick to Fiction K, that's the only stuff suitable for you. Even K+ ain't for you right now. Wait for about 5 years before you get into Fiction T and Fiction M. Like, do your parents not monitor what you do on the web? They should, or you're just gonna get into more pointless fights on here, and your childish sensibilities will be offended."

Aragorn then told him. "And I hate women? LOL! I am going to list all the female characters in fiction I actually despise- Iris in Flash, Felicity, Evelyn and Dinah Drake in Arrow, Kara in Supergirl, Kate in Batwoman, Rey in the Disney Star Wars Trilogy, and that too in the 2nd and 3rd films, in the first she wasn't too bad, Lana in Smallville, and of course Kennedy in Buffy. So the number stops at a 9, not even double digits. And Caitlin isn't the only female character I like. In just the Arrowverse, I love Sara, Nyssa, Patty and Thea. Then in Star Wars we have Princess Leia Organa and Ahsoka Tano. Then we have Natasha, Wanda, Hope, Elektra, Jemma Simmons, Bobbi Morse, Claire Temple, Colleen Wing and Misty Knight in MCU. Also, the great Wonder Woman too, don't forget her. And who else? Right! Ellen Ripley and Sarah Connor are so awesome, and also Storm in X-Men. Then we have Eowyn, Lady Galadriel and Arwen in the Lord of the Rings. Also, Buffy Summers in Buffy, as well as other female characters in the Buffyverse like Willow, Cordelia, Tara, Faith, Fred and Illyria. Willow and Cordelia are even in my Top 20 favorite characters of all time. Also, I love my mom, my cousin sisters and my female friends. They are women too, you know?"

Aragorn then did another 'pffft' and said. "So first, you flame my works, and then you request me? You sure everything is all right up there? Or were you born completely dumb? Like when you were born, the doctor said to your parents- "Congratulations, you have given birth to an idiot.""

Then rolling his eyes, Aragorn asked. "And why should I make something bad happen to all the male protagonists I like? I like them. Same way I dislike the female characters I had bad stuff happen to. Also, since you think I seem to hate women, I am going to tell you something horrible I had happen to a MALE character I absolutely despise. He is not a good guy though, he was a bad guy, but I despise him a lot. You wanna know what I did to him? Wait, you're just a kid, you're too young for this stuff. But wait, you read Fiction T stories, so I can tell you. Come here, come closer."

The camera got into Aragorn's face as he whispered. "I had his balls shot off, his skin burnt off, his dick cut off, and his head stomped on till it turned into nothingness."

Smirking, Aragorn said. "And now, to end this- I made something mean about you, as mean as I felt appropriate that is. Now I know you're gonna comment on this too, being offended and all that. Feel pretty brave from behind your keyboard, don't you kid? Grow up buddy. And if anyone thinks I'm also just a keyboard warrior, I'm gonna tell you all something I have held back for 2 years- I once said 'fuck you' to a sexual predator on his face. Granted I didn't know at the time he was one, but he was a teacher, so extra points for that, right? And I also have a one-shot roasting myself, it takes a lot more to insult yourself than others."

Aragorn then sighed. "Of course I would say more to him, but he's just a kid. I'm scared if I diss him a little more, he's gonna call his mom to scold me."

Looking to the front, Aragorn said. "So kid, here's a tip- Stay off the web. I would tell you to play outside, but its COVID-19 time so I won't, so play Mario or Megaman or some Tom and Jerry game on your computer or something, much better for kids your age, rather than getting into online fights, so stop mewing, and go make something of your life. There's a reason your parents let you access the Internet, and it's not so that you get into pointless fights, and I know you wanted to get into a fight, since in spite of hating my work, you scrolled down to stories I had written like 2 years ago, to flame them as well. If I was in your place, I would steer clear of the author since it is pointless to pick a fight over opinions. So, like I said, stay off the web, play some video games, and study, make something of your life."

Getting up, Aragorn said. "To the rest- goodbye, alavida, sayonara, stay safe from the coronavirus!"

Then he shut off the camera and went off.

**Author's Note:**

> And this is over. Kids these days *rolls eyes* We should really stop coddling them, or we are just gonna get a million more kids like MEWTWO 2.0, who are going to do the impossible and be even worse than this generation is.


End file.
